I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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