i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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