In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
