Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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