You're so nebulous sometimes
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
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i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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