awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
