What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
