haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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