afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
