She's JV to your varsity
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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