currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
