i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
