2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
