I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
