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so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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