Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Boobs speak an international language.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
