My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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