what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
