You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize