Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
