seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
