It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize