Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
