omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
