I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
