So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
