Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
