I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
