all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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