I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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