think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
