I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
