as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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