you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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