i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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