She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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