walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
