just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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