Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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