Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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