I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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