is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
