i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
