Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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