Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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