Hey man sorry I got all grabby
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
