Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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