There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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