took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
