help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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