Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
