why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
