There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
