So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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