i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He better not be in your backpack
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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