you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wear drunk well.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
