I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
