either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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