You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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