look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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