her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
