Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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