:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
